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If you have just spotted some serious red flags in your dating relationship, seek counsel from wise, confidential people in your church community.
But remember, the decision is ultimately up to you.
Does he spew his anger all over everyone, including you? Proverbs -25 says, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.” If you are not to make friendships with angry people, why would you covenant yourself to someone who fits this description? If he would more readily spend a day on the lake than helping someone in need, this indicates where his heart lies.
If he is always broaching conversations about sex, he is not doing a good job of helping you to protect your mind against lust before marriage.
The counseling team at James River Church offers confidential, Christian Counseling to individuals, couples and families who are facing challenges in life.
Our philosophy is based on empowering people of all ages to live life by biblical standards, first, by listening to their needs and then following the leading of the Holy Spirit.
He is already showing that he is unwilling to “forsake all others,” and that he is not living a pure lifestyle.
Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong [defraud] his brother in this manner, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things…” God’s will is for your sanctification, which includes purity. If it is not, then he is a defrauder, who loves himself more than you or God. How does your date cope when things do not go as planned?
Spouse abuse by an angry man does not usually randomly begin fifteen years into a marriage. Abuse is not only physical- it can also be emotional. If he is more concerned with worldly pleasure than pleasing God in being an honorable and responsible man, this is not the kind of man who will rightly point his family toward Christ-likeness. The Bible has a name for the guy who has the Peter-Pan syndrome: he is called “the sluggard.” Proverbs mentions him several times, including in Proverbs 6:9-11, which states, “How long will you lie there, O sluggard? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.” What is this man’s work ethic? Is he unhealthily dependent on his friends or family?