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You piece together a very swift interpretation of someone.” This isn’t completely binary – it’s more about sifting the ‘definite nos’ from the ‘maybe to yes-es’, as Hemmings explains: “It's the same premise as speed dating.
It's very easy and almost instantaneous to make these calls, and know whether there’s any hope.” But are these instant decisions generally right – or are we (as Annoying Friend might suggest) being unnecessarily fussy, and potentially throwing away a good thing?
But within a matter of minutes – let alone 12 – I’d know whether there was any dating potential, or the whole thing was a sad, shuddering non-starter.
Behavioural psychologist and dating coach Jo Hemmings agrees.
The latest evidence that seeks to compound the single person’s fate as a lonely bed of their own making is the revelation – via insurance company Axa – that people take just 12 minutes to decide whether a date is successful.
According to their survey of 2,000 people, everything from your smile, level of eye contact and tone of voice contribute to a quick-fire verdict that will have you yay-ed or nay-ed before you finish your first drink.
Our pickiness can also be a sign we’re not ready to date.I recommend three non-negotiable must-haves and three would-likes.” Lastly, when it comes to dates, Hemmings says if someone is a ‘maybe’, then give them a second chance.“Don't shift from your non-negotiables but be open-minded about the rest,” she says.You could argue that decisions are made even quicker than this.I've seen countless studies that show job interviewers make up their minds about you the second you enter the room. So while it may not be long enough to get past more than a few awkward exchanges, is 12 minutes actually adequate when it comes to making a solid assessment of a date’s potential?
One guy I met who was attractive, kind, fun, funny with a great job, was guilty of using double exclamation marks in his texts (fortunately I got over myself and we dated for three years).