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Others sense the fragility and find it thrilling to gang up or attack. There are those who are at peace when they lie and those who toss, turn and torture themselves about doing so. You might wonder as you listen, is this person truly seeking wellness, self-protection or justice or is the goal to destroy someone else?
Having a scapegoat can help a group form a strong bond and find meaning in what could be otherwise empty lives. If a person is lying to hurt someone else it is a very aggressive act and the accuser needs help.
God forbid, don’t mention the domestic violence that often goes with cheating — the pregnant woman whose head gets slammed on the concrete basement floor when she confronts him. Just the other day, a woman sent me a online review of Romanian escorts from some “FKK Saunaclubs in Germany” that she found her husband on. And I know that by writing about it — exploring the Venn diagram of where serial cheater and John and sexual predator overlap — will get me the criticism of hysteria.Kids who are scapegoated with words that cause unbearable humiliation sometimes commit suicide. If there was true victimization, then the wish to retaliate is utterly understandable. Such choices do not foster a healthy existence with generous, loving relationships.Freud said the pain of the ego is the worse kind of pain. You might hear a tale of woe, and just have the feeling that the teller is not all that woeful.She wants to have a moral discussion about that suffering.Being publically accused of a crime one did not commit could lead a person to jump off a bridge.
In Jane Eyre, the cruel headmaster tells the girls to let no one be her friend, take her hand or comfort her.